NOTE FROM THE PUBLISHERS AND CREATOR OF THE LOVE BY DESIGN SYSTEM
The purpose of this program is to help you decide whether you should stay or go in your present relationship.
In order to figure that out you need to understand the reality of relationships. First off Relationships are about a “mutual filling of needs.” They are more than love, attraction, friendship and fun.
In fact the majority of couples who come into our Relationship Centre, really love each other underneath all the pain, suffering and hurt that has gone on during the years however that love and attraction is not able to make their love and relationship work.
Relationship are “mutual filling of needs” above and beyond the love, attraction, friendship, fun, trust, kids, mortgage, money issues and furnishings. .
If you and or your partner are not getting what you want in the way you want it and or getting a bunch of negatively that you don’t want your relationship will break down and eventually end.
It not just about the love attraction friendship and fun, its about you making agreements and deals with in an effective Relationship Structure that allows both of you to get your needs met.
See there are 2 dimensions or levels to Relationships. An unconditional level where you can love and be attracted to your partner forever and the conditional level where relationships are made or broken which is based on our needs, wants, and requirements that span several areas and parts of the Relationship. . .
Its not complicated but we in society both the general public and professionals try to make relationships this mystical magical thing that no one can explain.
That’s all bunk !!!!.
Relationships are simple to understand.
They work when you get what you want they don’t work when you they don’t.
It’s the conditional level of need fulfillment that decides a relationship’s future and eventual outcome.
That’s pretty simple you don’t have to be a rocket scientist or PHD to figure out when one or both partners are not happy because they are not getting what they want or they are getting a bunch of stuff they don’t want and or their Vision of how things should be now and how they should unfold in the future is not happening that the Relationship is breaking down and going into the crapper.
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We can all feel and tell when we are not getting what we want or getting a bunch of stuff that we don’t want and w eventually get the idea that there is undertow of pushing and pulling with your partner around issues that create friction, arguments, back biting and fights.
Now, from there the only thing you have to figure out is why that is all happening and if there is anything you can do about it.
From there you will have to then know what to do about it, and if there is a way to make it work apply that process or if there is no way to make it work decide to stay and accept the situation and make the best of it or go and “Create the Life & Relationship of Your Dreams elsewhere. .
Can all relationships be saved In a word Yes, but No, in the sense of creating a healthy functional Relationship of Your Dreams. It just depends on how much you want to sell your soul.
Let me explain a little more
You can order a million books on how to save your relationship or marriage but if you relationship partner is not functional, available or compatible you will not have the relationship of your dreams.
Can you stay in a less than the best relationship?
Yes lots of people do for many, many reasons.
The couples that stay but don’t understand the information we are teaching are really stressed and over time that can cause all sorts of mental, emotional and physical breakdown
If you stay and you understand all that we are teaching in this book they can understand love and accept their partners limitations and create the best they can out of the situation and not be stressed, hurt or disappointed because they are coming from a higher level of conscious awareness instead unconscious frustration in not being able to manifest their “Original Vision of How the Relationship was Supposed to be.
Now if you stay and have found that you and your partner are fundamentally not compatible, don’t bother complaining about it. Just know the limitation of that reality and then make a higher decision to love and accept it. If you understand what is in this book you will find it easy to stay and feel great everyday.
Do we recommend you stay in a lousy relationship and just accept it. No, but there are situations where there is a trade off that makes it worthwhile.
We have written Counsellor in Box for couples who have decided to stay and make the best of their Relationship Situation with their Present Partner.
We have also written True Love on Demand for those who want to strike out on their own and Create the Life & Relationship of their Dreams.
Now for the folks who really want to stay and try and make it work we have some words of wisdom gleaned from working with couples for over 15 years.
If you find yourself in this type of relationship and want to stay then you need to develop a mind set that will allow you to enjoy your life and limited relationship .
Other wise you will create a miserable existence for yourself and your partner.
In relationships that are not highest and best and don’t work you don’t get your needs met. Plain & Simple
You are going to have to have strategies to deal with that.
Where people get confused is that they keep thinking if they keep trying, fighting resisting, punishing and or trying to control the other they believe that things will get better eventually.
They don’t and in many cases get worse if one or both parties remain unaware of what we teach in this book. So right up from we suggest you don’t waste your time trying to change people and situations that are not highest and best for you .
All “Stress” is resistance to Reality. We encourage you to understand the internal workings of Relationships and what is required to create Relationship Mastery & Success.
Are you stressed, upset, alone, discouraged, disappointed, hurt, angry, resentful, and or shut down. Are you some of these things or all of them.
Well if you are experiencing any of that, its cause you are “resisting reality” and the fact that your Vision of how the Relationship is supposed to be is not happening.
Well it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee and find out why and if it can be fixed!!
If your Relationship is not happening the way you want you will be very interested in reading this book and understanding the principles and concepts revealed here.
Its is “Principles” that will create the life of your dreams not some isolated technique. When you understand principles you can create your own techniques from that understanding.
A major principle to understand that all fighting and breakdown in relationships comes from partners Vision’s clashing unconsciously underneath the Relationship Structure that more than likely has been created haphazardly. .
Obviously your partner is not cooperating or getting the idea or program as to how life and your relationship should be and obviously you have tried a ton of stuff to try to fix, change or influence your partner to wake up to fact of supporting you in creating the life and relationship you want.
There are a ton of reasons why people do not get their needs met in a Relationship.
They range from an external reality that their partner is not available, functional or compatible to internal reasons the are rooted in your subconscious mind where you have absorbed patterns from childhood and early adulthood that have created a subjective reality and relationship for you that creates scenario’s that at the end of the day don’t allow you to get your needs met or create situations that reflect your painful childhood wounds and create situations where you continuously feel lousy.
These lousy feelings and end games for example are you feel guilt ridden, not good enough, shamed, blamed, hurt, cheated on, lied to, in numerous ways and scenarios but the bottom line is you feel bad and don’t get your needs met and get a lot of stuff that just is not at all what you hoped for and expect or aligns with your Vision of how your life and relationship should be.
In order to fiqured all this out. Melody has written this comprehensive book (wow its like almost 300 pages plus all the bonuses) that will give you all the information you need and more.
You can use this as reference to understand and deal with any relationship situation as well as personal guide that will help you make the right decision on whether you should stay and change the relationship, or stay and just accept your partner and situation or go and make a better life elsewhere.
If you are like Melody and myself we are the types of people that want to “understand and know why”.
If you read the information and principles contain in this book you will get relationships. You will in fact know more than professionals do on this subject for sadly professionals are not trained in what we are teaching you here.
When you understand why and you get the dynamics and principles of Relationship Mastery and Success you can easily make a personal life decision because you will clearly know what you want and what is highest and best for you whether that is to stay or go.
That’s our promise to you.
And if at any time you need our help just email us at the Centre and we will give all the support you need and tune you into resources that will support your journey on the road to Creating the Life & Relationships of Your Dreams.
You are getting our Relationship Success System that we use everyday at the Centre in this book. You will learn about yourself and your partner. You will see all your differences and where you are similar.
The mistake that most people and couples make is that their partner is the same and wants the same things and has the same Vision. In 98% of all couples “THAT IS NOT TRUE” and the fact is most couples have several differences and some are them are quite extreme and rarely do they have the exact same Vision, and that’s why there is at a conscious or unconscious level this push and pull that happens everyday or several times a day with couples.
The “Secret to Creating a Great Relationship” with a couple where there are major differences is to Create a Relationship Structure and System that allows for both partners to get their needs met.
With both partners having Relationship Mastery and a “Creative Relationship Structure” you can make a bad relationship great however at the end of the day if you have a partner that is not compatible or functional and or available the best systems and talent in the world cannot create you “Highest and Best” Relationship.
In this book we endeavor to give you an understand of Relationship Mastery and How to access you, your partner and your relationships you can discover your Highest and Best Pathway to the Life & Relationship of your Dreams.
If you need our help with any of the idea’s or concepts in this book please feel free to connect with us, so we can help you in any way we can.
Dr. Robby
Melody Chase
Cucan Pemo
relationshipcentre@shaw.ca
www.lovebydesignbook.com
www.lovebydesignbook.blogspot.com
www.drrobbyonline.com
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